could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
