Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
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