Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
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