If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
