super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
