Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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