Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
