I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
