Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
