I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
