I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Randomize
