There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
