I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Randomize
