he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
