I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Holy sore nipples Batman
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Randomize
