Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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