im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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