What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
so much tequila, so little girl.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
