Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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