i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
organizing the empties. That sober.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
