I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
