Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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