I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I need moral support for this bender
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
