You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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