I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
