I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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