She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
