Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize