"it" just moved
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
