i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
