No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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