everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Randomize
