I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
