Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
