I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
