Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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