her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
