Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
