We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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