I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
