I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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