What did we do last night that was yellow?
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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