Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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