I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
