I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
