I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
