why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
