you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
