yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
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