he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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