so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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