he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
