I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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