I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
