i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
