he puts the penis in happiness.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
