so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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