I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
