mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Randomize