so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
