He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
