playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Randomize
