Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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